


Divorce

by reddiegays



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Divorce, Eddie Kaspbrak Loves Richie Tozier, Established Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Established Relationship, Gay Eddie Kaspbrak, Inappropriate Humor, M/M, Mentions of Sex, Richie Tozier Loves Eddie Kaspbrak, Richie Tozier is a Little Shit, just a little funny fic where richie crashes myra and eddie's divorce signing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-28
Updated: 2020-01-28
Packaged: 2021-02-19 11:22:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22443526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reddiegays/pseuds/reddiegays
Summary: Myra and Eddie meet to discuss the terms of their divorce. Richie wants a piece of the action.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Richie Tozier/Eddie Kaspbrak
Comments: 22
Kudos: 260





	Divorce

**Author's Note:**

> dunno how divorces work but I hope you can forgive me that in a world where a killer clown was eating kids in the 80s :)

Eddie checked his watch for what was probably the hundredth time, his leg bouncing impatiently as he waited. Myra was running late, of course. He hadn’t wanted it to come to this, the two of them screaming at each other across a table as they attempted to hash out the terms of their divorce with only their lawyers to placate them. Myra was never going to make things easy but Eddie at least hoped they’d manage to settle out of court.

She finally turned up ten minutes later, strolling into the room wearing a large pair of sunglasses and enormous fur coat. Eddie had never seen her wear such a thing before and he couldn’t help but wonder if she’d taken some bullshit advice from her book club friends. He stood and politely offered his hand.

“Myra.”

Myra removed her sunglasses, ignoring Eddie’s outstretched hand, “Edward.”

“How’ve you-”

“Fine,” Myra spat maliciously, tucking her sunglasses away into her tiny clutch bag, “how’s your little whore?”

“Can we please be civil?” Eddie said, a slight blush rising on his face as he noticed several people looking in their direction, “look, let’s just get this over with and we’ll never have to see each other again…”

“Yeah. And by the way, whores usually get paid.”

Eddie and Myra turned to see none other than Richie Tozier, the guy Myra had been dumped for, lounging across three chairs and drinking some kind of colourful cocktail. He grinned cheekily at the former couple, sucking the straw suggestively. Eddie wanted to throttle him.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

Richie shrugged as if the answer was obvious, “I didn’t want to miss the show.”

“This is going to be tense enough without you being a dick, Rich,” he grabbed Richie’s arm, pulling him to stand and dragging him to the door, “just…let me do this. I’ll call you later.”

“No, wait, let me stay. I’ll be good, I swear. Won’t hear a word out of me…” Richie mimed zipping up his mouth and tossing it away, smiling; Eddie knew him well enough to know that probably wasn’t possible. He massaged his forehead. Why the fuck couldn’t he have fallen in love with Bill?

“We’re ready to start, Mr. Kaspbrak,” his lawyer was saying, gesturing at the room Myra and her lawyer were waiting in. He looked between the two men, “is there a problem?”

“Yeah but it’s my own fault,” Eddie mumbled with a sigh. Richie smiled triumphantly, knowing he’d won. The shorter man looked to his lawyer, “this is Richie. He’s my, um, well…mine. And he’s staying.”

The lawyer looked between them momentarily before nodding, ushering them into the room. Richie had to admit, he was quite looking forward to this.

* * *

“Extramarital sex?!” Eddie nearly shouted, almost throwing the insulting piece of paper back at Myra’s lawyer, “that’s not fair! I filed on the grounds of irreconcilable differences BEFORE leaving for Derry!”

“We didn’t have irreconcilable differences,” Myra said to her lawyer, dabbing at her eyes for show. Eddie was certain he was going to burst a blood vessel.

“I’m gay, Myra! That’s pretty fucking irreconcilable.”

Their lawyers attempted to calm them down but Eddie was not about to be called a cheater when, as far as he was concerned, their marriage was over and was not about to be mended. A whole bunch of repressed memories had resurfaced when he got the call from Mike, mainly about Richie and his sexuality. Eddie had made the decision about ending his marriage almost immediately. He was pulled from his thoughts by Richie tugging his sleeve.

“Dude, isn’t it still classed as extramarital if you’re technically still married?”

Eddie pulled his sleeve back, hissing back fiercely, “who’s fucking side are you on?”

“What counts as extramarital ‘sex’, anwyay,” he addressed the question to Myra’s lawyer and Eddie wanted to curl up and die; his attempts to shut Richie up by stamping on his foot proving ineffective. Richie gestured between him and Eddie, “‘cause, like, we did a lot. I don’t think that thing in The Jade bathroom counts, I mean that was just a…” he trailed off when he noticed everyone in the room was looking at him. Richie smiled awkwardly, pushing his glasses up his nose. He glanced at Eddie out of the corner of his eye, “yeah, I know…beep beep, right?”

* * *

“So what happens now?”

Eddie was shoving papers into his case, shrugging, “she signed, which is something. We just have to divide assets and that’ll be it.”

“Cool, cool…” Richie shoved his hands in his jacket pocket. He wanted to apologise for almost ruining everything, thank Eddie for putting up with him and loving him. Instead, he blurted out, “do you wanna move in with me?”

“You’re asking me here?” Eddie snapped his briefcase closed, raising an eyebrow, “at court where me and my ex-wife signed divorce papers?” Richie nodded, suddenly feeling self-conscious. He was about to tell Eddie to forget it but the other man took his hands, stroking his skin gently, “Richie, you do my fucking head in. You’re so goddamn infuriating. I’d love nothing more than to move in with you.”

Richie couldn’t help it. He picked Eddie up and swung him around, kissing him when he was firmly planted back on the ground. He was over the moon. Eddie was going to live with him! Richie had a boyfriend who was going to live with him. He grasped Eddie’s hand, leading him out of the room and towards a taxi. He turned to Eddie with a smirk.

“Wanna go have extramarital sex?”

“Shut the fuck up, Richie.”


End file.
